Here is a piece i did with the lovely Cortney McGuire. We were trying to capture a youthful playfulness, that just made people smile and feel warm and gooshy inside. enjoy.

My Grandfathers wisdom.

Today I went to my dad's house to do laundry and study for a mid term. while looking for a pen i opened my dad's desk drawer and see a hand written letter that peaked my interest with the words "Dear Rob" and started with "there was a time in my walk with the lord..." Which seemed odd to me because my dad was not a believer when i was growing up. I couldn't think of anyone who would be writing so personally to him about the lord. I couldn't help but read on, feeding my curiosity when i got to the second page i glanced at the final greeting and it brought tears to my eyes, at the bottom of the page was "God bless you - love Dad."

letter written to my father from his dad.


Dear Rob or "here i am again"

there was a time in my walk with the lord that i focused on the new testament report and was not very interested in the old testament except for a few selected passages. some of this came from the focus person in the pulpit
However, when i began to really "get with Gods program" it became clear that god is the same yesterday today and forever. God's move in people's lives in the old testament is important to note. you see god moves in miraculous ways in the lives of mankind a First time...as a pattern for a move in the lives of mankind a second and often a there and so on, for example Elijah was given seven miracles his faithful assistant Elisha was given the "double portion he asked for ...13 during his life and the 14th was the dead man resurrected to life when put into the same grave as Elisha... and touched Elisha's bones.
the read sea parted for the Hebrew nation to escape from Egypt. forty years later the waters of the Jordan river piled up for wandering Hebrews to cross over on dry and to the promised land at Jericho then, the walls of Jericho came down the fell outward, not inward so that everyone then and now would know it was truly the hand of god and not any clever achievement of mankind.
and so it goes god moves in might ways throught the old testament to show himself as our provider and leader. after god demonstrated his presents among us in the old testament he continued he continued with the gift of jesus in the new testament. just think if where would we be if the jews had all accepted jesus as the son of god and they alone had the gift of fellowship with the true god and creater. God's chosen people had been put into a place of rejecting jesus as their own in orderto get His message of salvation out to the rest of the world, just think, the Jews have all the background and history of God moving in their behalf through out the ages and are still blinded they live right among the teaching and and experiences that Jesus had and most of us Christians have never been to Israel.
the Jewish rejection of Jesus seems to be part of God's plan in fact Revelations does predict that Jews will come to accept Jesus in the end times.
with the way the world is lining up against nations it conflict may become one of religions...or develop into something of that sort. search the scriptures, if god has it worked out that way -keep the faith and don't take the mark. (of the beast)
in your "new found" walk with Jesus search all the scriptures and hear the teachings of various men of god. Broaden your walk,(with the lord), attend various fellowships to pick up on some one truth chick may have been puzzling to you- guard against being critical-take what will minister to you and let the rest not bother you.
God bless you -love, Dad-

Lately the lord has been showing me that he will work in a way in which that you cannot doubt that it was him working things in your life for your good. I had never knew my grandfather as a spiritual man and by the looks of it these are not rants of a "cultural christian" but of a man with a personal relationship. In the last few years he came down with Alzheimer's. It breaks my heart that I can't talk to him about his faith. I wish I knew the lord growing up, I wish he was a part of my family, Maybe things would have turned out much different if he was, some of the tragedies of my past wouldn't have happened and I wouldn't have had to go through so much pain, but today is the first day that i realize that maybe, Just maybe the LORD worked things this way so that 23 years later i would know the realness of the Lord not traditions taught to me, not an Hour my family sets apart on Sundays. not a set of call and responses or formulas to feel not so guilty. I know the LORD and I don't think I would trade the tears and pain I went through for my relationship with him.

If you do have a crush, do you know this girl?

let's define terms,
"Attracted to" : any girl who is physically attractive regardless ever having an encounter or emotional compatibility

"crush" : girl who you have mildly seen personality and are physically attracted to, seen as possible dating material,

"big cruch": crush in which gives butterflies at thought of actually dating. causes increased heart rate, sweaty palms, and getting of bus 2 stops late to keep conversation going.

"date": when both parties know its a date

"hang out": when one party thinks it's a date but really needs to grow a pair and have a DTR.

"D.T.R.": define the relationship.

guys D.T.R. "can i call you my girlfriend"

girls D.T.R. "so... what are we?"

"dating" implies multiple dates on its way to exclusive.

"together": when she is comfortable enough to fart in front of you.

Ask me anything

Marco?

polo, nolo(no sleeve polo), chad,frosted tips, sharp, hdtv's, things i want,a girlfriend, lots of work, getting my collage degree, homework, what i am not doing now.
string of consciousness from charlie !

Ask me anything

Forgiveness

"i am sorry"

This phrase can be so common in every day life, yet sometimes it takes years to say it and even longer to receive it. we say it to perfect strangers so easily,and with such difficulty to a loved one. the ego hates to say it but loves to hear it. the scary theological word for this phrase is "repentance" which means to turn around or about face. i find a lot of truth in that, a friendship can be drifting apart until one party asks for forgiveness and the friendship seems to turn around back towards being coming together as friends.

one of the greatest tragedies I see lately is that we don't know how to forgive these days, how sad is it today that our normal response to an apology is to say "it's ok." a denial of the need for an apology is a denial that what happened was wrong. so many times i feel it necessary to remind the people i am with of the need to acknowledge that what happened to them was not right, and forgiveness is something that is often not deserved but freely given.

I think that forgiveness is just as freeing for the forgiver as the forgiven.

I think that pride can be such a wedge between relationships causing small insignificant bump in the road issues to become an insurmountable canyon. pride is the main factor that needs to be put aside both to forgive and to receive an apology. it took a long time to realized that forgiving those who have wronged me was not denial that it i was wronged, but rising above it and moving forward. letting my tormenting and tyrannical ego die with the need to be justified as a victim. the tyranny of self dies, the freedom from forgiveness comes.

just some random thoughts really.

Duality in all of us.

I was listening to a 2Pac album this week, When i realized how contradictory he was.
how can the same man who wrote "HIT EM UP" (lyrics to the right) be the same guy to say ...
"I'm going to make a change. And my change is going to make a change through the community. And through that, they gonna see what type of person I truly was. Where my heart was. This Thug Life stuff, it was just ignorance. My intentions was always in the right place. I never killed anybody, I never raped anybody, I never committed no crimes that weren't honorable-that weren't to defend myself. So that's what I'm going to show them. I'm going to show people my true intentions, and my true heart. I'm going to show them the man that my mother raised. I'm going to make them all proud."

I can't tell you how many conversations I have as a Younglife Leader in the last four years where a kid spills out his heart about an issue and how he wants and needs to change his life only to fall back into the same patterns. It's almost as if the person I talked to was someone completely different than the stories I hear about them. So it goes from a far off concept with 2pac and comes close to home with a Younglife kid and finally hits home when I myself am not able to be a single minded person, I desire things that I know would tear my life apart. I work with all my being to be one person. Something inside of me wants so desperately to do the opposite of what I know is good for me. I have been a Believer for 8 years now, and still i struggle with these things but one comfort I have is that even in Christianity this Duality seems to plague the "Biblical Heroes"
Noah made an arc, but also got naked and pasted out drunk in a field,
Moses parted the red sea, but also Murdered an Egyptian,
David a man after Gods heart also Slept with another mans wife got her pregnant
Paul wrote large portion of the new testament, Persecuted and Killed Christians.

Cherokee Proverbs capture our Duality like this:
Two Wolves

An old Cherokee told his grandson that a battle that goes on inside each us.
The battle is between two 'wolves'.
One 'wolf' is Evil. It has anger, envy, jealousy, sorrow, regret, greed, arrogance, self-pity, guilt, resentment, inferiority, lies, false pride, superiority, and ego.
The other 'wolf' is Good. It has joy, peace, love, hope, serenity, humility, kindness, benevolence, empathy, generosity, truth, compassion and faith."

The grandson thought about it for a minute and then asked his grandfather: "Which wolf wins?"

The old Cherokee simply replied, "The one you feed."

...fin